Sinking

This is a spur of the moment kind of thing

But I think this may as well be my strongest written piece

Enjoy, springrolls! 😘 Don’t break my heart 💓

An overwhelming feeling
Sometimes stronger than love

You feel like sinking

Deeper

And

Deeper

With every push

Deliberate or not

Physical or mental

It is still a push


It can be a lot of things

A kick in the stomach

A slap in the face

A slam of the door

An angry scream

A few angry words

A poor choice of words


No matter how hard I swam

Struggle for a breath of fresh air

Trying not to sink

But I just sink

Faster

And

Faster

 

Like being stuck in Titanic

You are Rose

Pulling my frozen hands off the wooden piece

And watching me sink into the ocean

After you say you love me

But I am not Jack

I am alive

And yet

You let me go

You did not truly care

You did not give a shit
I knew that deep down

And I still gave you that power

To sink me


I couldn’t move

I felt my tears in my eyes

But my eyes felt dry

I could see your hands on the wooden piece

But why do I feel them

Pushing me down?
And why can’t I move?
Resist?

 

Everything around me

Cold and dead

Or did I mean inside me?

Doesn’t matter

I just ask myself

Why I gave you the power

To crush my soul


I felt alone

Insignificant

Cold

Sorrow

Forgotten

And left behind

Like trash thrown into the ocean

Like fish food to become fish shit

You add weight to mine

When I see you breathe freely

As I sink further into the dark


In the middle of this dark ocean

I plead to the Gods

If there are any

That I may once again taste sunshine

Against my skin

My skin wrinkling from my smile

My lungs filled with fresh air

My feet against the soft grass

My ears filled with the music of the wind

Not this cold

Skin tight

A dull sound of silence

 

I am in a prison of my own thoughts
In the dungeons of eternal pain
Being murdered little by little
By your so-called pointless words
And meaningless jokes
Crushing me under the tires of your happiness vehicle
Your goddamn voice destroying my feelings
Your selfish, uncaring texts like a tsunami to my fragile mind
Sweeping me away into the deep, dark abyss


And yet the Gods still didn’t forget me

So it seems

Here I am

Alive and well
Lungs free of the water you filled

In this temporary bubble

Waiting to be popped

Like a ticking time-bomb

Waiting for more of your toxicity

Sincerely yours,

LOLrolling


You can totally comment, I don’t mind. I just needed this to leave my mind in peace.

Thank you so much.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s